“I think you need to come pick some daisies,” my mom told me. “There’s a bumper crop of them this year.”
I’m slightly irritated when she mentions this. Not that I don’t want to pick the flowers or anything. There are few things I enjoy more than fresh flowers. No, my annoyance goes back to when I was wedding planning 13 years ago.
I didn’t want conventional flowers. I wanted simple. To be totally forthcoming, I wanted cheap. Cheaper the better. My motto when wedding planning was “It’s only one day.”
So I bought seeds in early spring. Planted them in pots and and started them in little peat moss pods. I was going to grow my own bouquet for my wedding. This was going to work.
Yes, “Nothing Comes Easy” did show up. I had lush foliage but not a single flower. I bought all the daisies a local florist had to make up for my cheapness. My wedding did have flowers, but not nearly as many as I had hoped for.
My mom planted those pots in her flower beds. The next year, she had big, beautiful daisies. And every year since, those daisies have become a large portion of her landscape.
And I love it. But I also am annoyed that my original plan didn’t work.
As Stephen and I approach our 13th anniversary, I think that those first daisies (or lack thereof) give a beautiful picture of marriage.
Seeds sown, watered, cultivated. That work made some greens, but it needed a bigger plot with better drainage and nutrients to make the blooms come out.
If I had thrown out those pots of leaves, I would have missed out on a lot.
More than once have I heard people say, “Marriage isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” In part, it is true. We spend so much time and effort putting together the dream wedding and the perfect honeymoon that we forget there is a lifetime of normal after that. Often there comes a let down after the last present is opened and the sand is washed out of the swim trunks.
At this point, some people decided to toss out the pot because there are no flowers.
When the socks are left on the floor and the hair isn’t on point; that’s when the real marriage beings. And we can be really quick to write it off as a life of unfulfilled relationship goals, when in reality, it is just the beginning of something greater.
Those first few years help set a foundation. And they are messy at times, as two unique individuals become one. In heaven you are one when you make that covenant before God, but on earth it takes a little longer for the reality to set in.
Trust me, I know. I am a northerner through and through. I even chose to go to college where snow didn’t melt completely until the first week of May. And my husband? He’s as southern as they come. Born and bred in Florida. Never been north of the Mason-Dixon line until after college. What’s more, I am a woman of extroverted nature. My dear Stephen is more subdued and reflective. So not only were there extreme cultural differences, but there were personality differences too.
We had a lot of learning and adjusting to do as we entered marriage. Giving and taking. Submitting and insisting. Accepting and changing. But as we endeavored (and still do) to do this marriage thing God’s way, He grafted us together and made us one. He took all that pretty foliage and transplanted it into a better place. And just like my daisies, our union has bloomed into something almost overwhelming.
What’s crazy to think about is that we haven’t even been married that long. I think of my grandparents who have been married over 60 years! So this will just keep getting better and better as we keep on keeping on! It’s just an incredible thought.
I know that we have, and will continue to go through trials in our marriage. It isn’t always easy. But the longer you grow your relationship, the deeper those roots go, and the better your marriage can last those storms that will inevitably come.
I picked those daisies at my moms. They were handed out to friends and some still sit on my piano. And I smile when I see them, because they remind me that my plans in marriage didn’t work out. Only God could take something so unfruitful and unestablished and make it bloom and grow. His grace working itself in every area of my life.
Printables featured in this post courtesy of Mothers of Daughters.