Thoughts on a Thursday V

I’m sitting in my room right now, listening to soft, uplifting music, watching the dreary day stir. I happen to like the cocoon that a rainy day offers. Time to read, reflect and rest a little more than normal. My husband thinks I am odd, but he married odd so I’m not sure what that makes him.

Oh, yes. Thoughts this week.

1. Goodbyes.

I hate goodbyes. They are incredibly awkward and leave so much unsaid and unresolved. I am not good at them. We have had some goodbyes this week, and I didn’t even get to fully make them because twins.

But people who are difficult to say goodbye to are a blessing. It means history and experiences and memories. A life without goodbyes usually means there aren’t many hellos either. And that is a sad life, indeed.

2. Gardening Update

The produce is slowly trickling in! The blast of hot weather has really helped my garden. Tomatoes are multiplying and just need ripening. I have been eating my own broccoli, which is more delicious when you grow it yourself. I will pick my first cucumber this weekend.

This veggie garden has been such a treat to nurture and watch. This is in addition to the herb garden that has taken over in my house. It’s addicting. Oh! Windowsill lettuce? Definitely worth trying.

3. On the waterfront

This summer, our city put a kayak launch and pier about three blocks away. I’ve been going paddling a few times a week, and always come to shore to find an eager 10 year old boy ready to help bring in my gear. He really just wanted to go on the water.

So we bought him an inflatable kayak for his birthday. Which made his oldest sister buy one, once she experienced how fun it was. And now you will find Franklins on most evenings at the Oneida Street pier, playing around on their kayaks and the paddle board. I’ve been out less, but enjoying the kids having fun more.

I mean, what’s the point of living near water if you are not going to enjoy it?

4. The spirit behind our sin

So I was reading this week in Isaiah 47:10, and it lays out so clearly the mindset of sin that I have to share it with you:

You felt secure in your wickedness,
you said, “No one sees me”;
your wisdom and your knowledge led you astray,
and you said in your heart,
“I am, and there is no one besides me.”

Isn’t that a painfully true summation? We use our own intellect to reason away our desire to do right. In doing so, we deny God- the Great I AM- for who He is. We put ourselves in as the I am and decider of good and evil.

In the garden, Adam and Eve had to choose- would they trust God in what was good and evil, or would they decide for themselves? They chose to take matters into their own hands and there the deception started.

It is so tempting to just follow our own intellect and leave God out of it. But it is God who gives us knowledge to be used for Him. And He knows exactly what the spirit behind our disobedience is.

Not happy thoughts, but there is a sense of comfort in knowing that God knows our thoughts better than we do. Even the not good ones.

5. About that bucket list…

No one tells you when summer begins that you get delusions of grandeur. I have a list of things for us to do this summer, and while we have ticked away at them, the school year is fast approaching with so much undone.

To be honest, it is exhausting just planning outings for a bunch of kids. I love them all dearly, but I spend most of my time counting heads or making sure the help is helping. I know this season will pass, but the kids are also growing up so fast, I don’t want to miss out on making memories.

Any other moms with this double guilt complex? Is this a normal mom of many paradox?

Hope your weekend is cool and refreshing!

2 thoughts on “Thoughts on a Thursday V

  1. I’ve been thinking about the whole mom/summer guilt thing too. There’s so much I want to do and memories I want to make but it’s also so much work lol. Sometimes I’d rather just stay home and watch my kids play while I sit on the porch with an iced coffee… which I’ve decided is ok too 😉

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